How to Get Banned from CryptoPunks Without Even Trying

A Comedy-Tragedy in 7 Acts

Featuring accidentally rich woke liberals and the founders who cashed out $400M without a single apology.

TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains facts, receipts, and moderate negativity.
If you are a CryptoPunk mod, please close this tab and go touch grass. 💎🙌

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ACT 1: The Hype (2021) – FOMO 101

Educational takeaway: FOMO is a hell of a drug. Market cycles are shorter than your average TikTok dance.

In the summer of ’21, CryptoPunks weren’t just JPEGs—they were religion.
Floor price rocketed from $1K → $500K in nine months. That’s a 500x on a pixelated face that looks like your uncle after three IPAs.

Enter @beaniemaxi, the Paul Revere of Punks:

“THE FLOOR IS RISING! ONE IF BY ETH, TWO IF BY APE!”

He was the loudest bullhorn in the room. While the rest of us were googling “what is gas,” Beanie was writing love letters to 24×24 art.

Meanwhile, Larva Labs (the founders) watched the chaos… and sold over 100 Punks for ~$400M.

Community reaction?

“Visionary exit strategy!”
“Rotating into liquidity to fund more art!”

Translation: “We’re rich, suckers.”

Dad joke interlude:

Why did Larva Labs cross the road?
To get to the other side of the tax bracket.

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ACT 2: The New Commandments – Cult Dynamics 201

Educational takeaway: Every cult needs rules. Bonus points if they only apply to plebs.

Behold, the Unofficial CryptoPunk 10 Commandments (carved on a diamond-handed tablet):

#	Commandment	Who It Applies To
1	Thou shalt not sell	Everyone except Larva Labs
2	Thou shalt not be negative	Unless you’re sitting on 8 figures
3	Thou shalt post “LFG” daily	Or be labeled a “tourist”
4	Thou shalt pretend this is about art	While checking floor price 47×/day
5	Thou shalt shame paper hands	But applaud founder cash-outs

Pro tip: It’s not a cult—it’s a “decentralized book club” with a $200K cover charge.

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ACT 3: The Ban – Censorship with Better Branding™

Educational takeaway: Moderation is just censorship wearing a rainbow hoodie.

Plot twist: @beaniemaxi gets banned from the CryptoPunks Discord…
…without ever posting a single message in it.

Crime: Tweets on his own timeline were “too negative.”

Exhibit A (actual tweet):

“Punks at 20 ETH? Maybe take some profits, fam. Rent exists.”

Mod response (paraphrased):

“This energy is not aligned with our community values. ✌️”

Translation:

“We’re a safe space… for millionaires who agree with us.”

Meme break:

CryptoPunks moderation policy:

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ACT 4: The “Accidentally Rich Woke Liberal” – Virtue Signaling 301

Educational takeaway: When ideology meets money, comedy writes itself.

Anatomy of a Punk Mod (composite character):

Trait	Example
Bio	“Building the future 🌈
Wallet	17 Punks, 3 BAYC, 1 yacht emoji
Superpower	Banning you for “classism” while sitting on $12M
Favorite phrase	“It’s okay to sell when you need the money”

Fine print: “Need” = down payment on a second home in Ibiza.

Savage one-liner:

They’ll lecture you on equity…
…while enforcing a caste system with pixelated avatars.

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ACT 5: The Punk Purity Test – Gatekeeping 401

Educational takeaway: Status is the real yield. Everything else is noise.

Are YOU Punk enough? Take the quiz!
(Answer honestly. Mods are watching.)

1. Have you ever said “wen moon”?

• Yes → +1 purity
• No → banned for apathy

1. Do you own a Punk?

• Yes → +10
• No → “ngmi” (and blocked)

1. Have you ever criticized the floor price?

• Yes → INSTA-BAN
• No → +5 (but we’re watching)

1. Bonus: Are you Larva Labs?

• Yes → +Infinity. Sell whenever.

Max score: 11/10 (if you invented the thing)
Your score: Probably 0. Welcome to the shadow realm.

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ACT 6: This Isn’t Just Punks – Pattern Recognition 501

Educational takeaway: NFTs promised ownership. They delivered cliques.

The Crypto Cult Playbook (works every time):

1. Hype → “This changes everything!”
2. Extract → Founders cash out $100M+
3. Police → Ban anyone who says “maybe sell?”
4. Purge → Exile the truth-tellers
5. Repeat → Next cycle, same script

Seen it in:

• BAYC (“yacht club” was literal)
• Goblintown (“ironic” until the dump)
• [Insert your favorite dead project here]

Chart time (fake but accurate):

{
  "type": "line",
  "data": {
    "labels": ["Jan '21", "Peak '21", "Now"],
    "datasets": [
      {
        "label": "Punk Floor Price",
        "data": [1, 500, 25],
        "borderColor": "#00ff00"
      },
      {
        "label": "Larva Labs Wallet",
        "data": [0, 400, 400],
        "borderColor": "#ff00ff"
      },
      {
        "label": "Your Mental Health",
        "data": [100, 10, 50],
        "borderColor": "#ff0000"
      }
    ]
  }
}

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ACT 7: The Takeaway – Exit Liquidity 601

Final lesson: The house always wins. Be the house… or at least don’t get banned for noticing.

CryptoPunks were supposed to be:

• Ownership ✅
• Decentralization ✅
• Community ❌ → Clique with a ban hammer

@beaniemaxi’s real crime?
He refused to pretend the emperor’s new hoodie was anything but overpriced.

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Epilogue: Your Move

If you’ve been:

• Banned for “negativity”
• Shamed for selling
• Ghosted for asking “wen utility?”

DM your story.
This isn’t over. It’s just Act 8.

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Pedro Jose
Stack of Truths
Edited with Grok

Published on Stack Of Truths– Empowering the NFT Renaissance, One Post at a Time.

(P.S. No financial advice here – just vibes and verifiable facts.)